Good Monday morning to you.
My novella will be released in less than three weeks.
Since my novella is about a New Year’s wish, I went back through my journal to read entries that I’ve made in the past on New Year’s Eve.
One very significant entry I wrote down on December 31, 2017.
I’ve shared here about my challenges with depression and anxiety, and most recently the struggles I’ve gone through since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2003.
The words in this journal entry, written at the end of 2017 and after another year of struggling, reflect on the ways God was changing me.
Today I share my journal entry as it was written.
Sunday December 31, 2017
I have a mental illness.
It is not demonic.
It is a chemical imbalance that is treatable with medications and cognitive therapy.
I firmly believe that God has brought Vicki (my counselor) into my life to strengthen my faith.
To set me in the right direction.
To help me heal from past insults, assaults and disappointments.
To help me realize that the teaching I have had regarding my mental illness has been faulty and has not helped me but hurt me psychologically.
I am free to begin again.
It is a new year starting tomorrow.
The journal entry continues with thoughts on 2018.
Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.
Philipians 2:12-14 reads:
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
God has not given me a spirit of FEAR, but of POWER, of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND.
God will help me overcome the challenges in life:
Single parenting, even to adult children.
Isolation from the anxiety disorder.
Diet/healthy choices for diabetes and other medical issues.
Medication changes for the bipolar.
Increasing my faith in His goodness.
Overcoming my past.
Forgetting my past and moving forward.
God has plans for me: Plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.
Those were my New Year’s wishes on December 31, 2017.
In the years since then, God has met and exceeded my hopes in many of these areas.
My life is not perfect by any means, but I have more good days than bad. I used to have maybe three good days a month, now I might have maybe three bad days a month.
And even on a bad day, God has ways of reminding me of His goodness.
It isn’t a new year, but it’s a new day.
A new Monday.
The start of a new week.
I hope that You will trust God to meet your needs and bring you through whatever trials you are facing. With prayers that you will have an uplifting week.