(I’m a little late getting this posted. It will be afternoon before it’s published.)
I’m about as motivated to get my day started as Anna appears in the above photo. That’s like me, just hanging out and relaxing. And here it is almost noon already. I’d intended to clean a client’s house this morning but she had something come up and needed to cancel. So I have an unexpected day at home.
I woke up at 7:30 which is late for me. I prefer to get up around 4:00 am. And usually if I’m not awake by then my dog whines until I wake up as she wants to be fed. This morning she let me sleep.
It might because my kids were cooking when I got up. Since they work third shift, they were preparing food for their lunches this week. My son was cooking chicken breasts. My daughter was making a semi-homemade pasta Alfredo.
At the same time, I was preparing my morning coffee and toast.
Our schedule is a little mixed up around here. I’m getting up as my kids (two adult children who live with me) are getting ready to go back to bed. I’m cooking breakfast food while they are eating pizza or dinner entrees.
I don’t mind the mixed up hours, though. I get to spend a few hours with them before they go to bed I leave for the day. In the event that I don’t have to work, I try to stay quiet so they can sleep.
My dog likes to interrupt their sleeping, though. I don’t know if she likes it, per se, but she does it often. When she hears a noise outside of a loud truck she barks. When I get home from work she barks and carries on. I know my kids don’t always get all the sleep they need.
Maybe it’s payback for when they were infants and they kept me awake. LOL.
I know they will likely move out in the next few years, but I like having them as roommates. As a single, widowed woman in her mid-fifties, it’s nice to not have an empty house to myself. As if it could be empty, with several cats and a dog, but it’s also nice to have the human conversations and contact for a few hours a day.
In the past, I’ve lived in my head most of the time. When I wasn’t reading or writing, I was dreaming up dialogue and scenes for my stories. Sometime last fall, that drifted away from me. I decided I need to get out and do something that was beyond myself. And I did.
Now, it seems like, I can’t get back into my head. Back into those stories.
Where did the scenes and dialogue go?
What happened to my creativity?
Over the holidays, I ate whatever I wanted and stopped my daily exercise. I also stopped my daily devotions.
I gave up some very good habits that I’d developed over the past three years. And that past three years has been the most productive time of my life as far as my writing and marketing go.
Hmm. Maybe giving up those good habits has affected my creativity.
I don’t really have any excuses, except “I don’t feel like it.”
Isn’t that what a teenager or a child might say?
Have I regressed to a time in my life when I did whatever I felt like and didn’t care if if affected anyone else? Or didn’t do something that was expected of me because I didn’t feel like it?
I have some problems with depression and anxiety. I’ve been very vocal about my journey thus far. So it is with honesty this morning that I admit I have messed up by not sticking with the things that are important to my spiritual and physical health. If those are off balance, it’s no wonder that my mental health and creativity are suffering.
I can’t get back the past six weeks or so of time, but I can make the changes I need to get back “in the groove”. This morning, I’m listening to my favorite inspirational songs on Spotify, hoping that it will light a spark in me to motivate me to do the things I know to do.
Here is one of my favorite songs that will jumpstart anyone’s day.
“Rattle” by Elevation Worship.
It’s enough to motivate me to get on my pedaler and get my heart rate going.
But first, I’ll finish this cup of coffee.