Romance is in the air as Valentine’s Day approaches. The day when sweethearts show their love for one another with cards, flowers, and candy. Many weddings are celebrated around that day. For myself and my husband, it was no different.

Pat and I started dating in May 1989. By August, we were unofficially planning our wedding. In November, the night before Thanksgiving, he proposed on bended knee and presented me with a diamond solitaire.

When we tried to figure out a wedding date, my grandma said, “Why don’t you have it in February? There’s nothing going on that month.”

Pat liked the idea of a February wedding. His birthday was February 12th, and Valentine’s Day of course is on the 14th. What easier way to remember his anniversary than to have our wedding on February 17th?

We didn’t have many weeks to plan or pay for our wedding, but somehow, we pulled off that big day. I had my dream wedding after our fairy-tale romance. We vowed to love each other “for as long as we both shall live.” For us, that was only twenty years.

I thought we would grow old together, but Pat passed away in August 2010 from a tragic work accident. Although time has healed my grief, February holds bittersweet memories.

The photo above was taken around the time of our engagement. I loved that dress. I’d looked at it in the store for a few weeks before I had the money to buy it. You can tell that I had stars in my eyes.

In spite of my loss, I’m a big fan of romance. In fact, I write about HEA’s (Happily Ever After’s) and believe they are possible. My marriage to Pat was too short, but the time I had with him was a gift from God.

This post was originally published in January 2021.

Jesus My Belayer

Anyone who knows me well knows that I’m not an outdoorsy type person. I’m also very afraid of heights, so you would not ever catch me rock climbing. However, the idea of rock climbing became very significant to me last week.

I was under a lot of stress and felt like I was falling into a pit of anxiety and depression. I’ve been there before. I’ve worked very hard in the past 7 years to stay out of the pit. There have been times when I’ve slipped and almost fallen. Thanks to God’s grace, and the support of family and friends, I’ve managed to find the footholds to climb out before I hit the bottom.

This past week, however, I struggled with the idea of trying to claw my way out of the pit that stress had caused.

Psalm 94:18-19 reads:

“When I said, my foot is slipping, your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great with me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul.” (NIV)

The image of a rock climber came to mind as I thought about my struggle. Not knowing anything about it, I took a look at some photos and watched videos of rock climbers. I was impressed by the use of a belayer to assist in a safe climb.

Wikipedia describes the belaying process as follows:

“As the climber moves on the climb, the belayer must make sure that the climber has the right amount of rope by paying out or pulling in excess rope. If the climber falls, they free-fall the distance of the slack or unprotected rope before the friction applied by the belayer starts to slow their descent. Too much slack on the rope increases the distance of a possible fall, but too little slack on the rope may cause the climber to “whip” or swing into the rock at a high velocity, possibly injuring themselves. It is important for the belayer to closely monitor the climber’s situation, as the belayer’s role is crucial to the climber’s safety.”

I had the idea that Jesus is my belayer as I climb the wall of life. He holds the rope, and He is attached to me through my relationship with Him. Though my foot may slip, He’s not going to let me crash to the ground.

Of course, I have some personal responsibility when it comes to my safety. I have to choose my path wisely. I can’t expect Jesus to save me when I am climbing outside the safety of His will. And the Bible makes clear what His will is in almost every situation that I face.

To stay out of the pit and climb successfully through life, I need the firm foundation of the Word of God. That foundation is the truth of who I am in Christ.

What is that truth?

God loves me.

God forgives me.

God accepts me.

I am a child of God.

As you climb the rock wall of life’s stresses, harness yourself to the One who created you, who knows you better than you know yourself, and who wants you to be fulfilled and blessed.

Make Jesus your belayer.

He will make sure you have the right amount of rope to safely climb and succeed in your life.

This post was previously published in January 2022 but the sentiments are true today as well.

I enjoy candles. My son indulges me by giving me a new one each Christmas. This year, the scent was pumpkin pie spice. I love the fragrance it gives out when I light the flame.

Remember the chorus in Sunday school, “This Little Light of Mine?” It went something like this:

“This little light of mine/I’m gonna let it shine/This little light of mine/I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.”

In the church where I grew up, we sang this added verse: “Shine all over {church’s name}/I’m gonna let it shine/Shine all over {church’s name}, I’m gonna let it shine.” In my mind, I used to insert the name of my community in the place of the church’s name.

Matthew 5:14-16, familiar to many of us, reads:

“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

A few years ago, I heard the song by Kathy Troccoli, “Go Light Your World.” A link to the music video is posted below. This song inspired a vision of me carrying a candle, lit with the flame of God’s love, to others. As I witnessed for Christ, their hearts would be touched. The light of my candle would light theirs as well.

I shared this vision with a minister’s wife, who although retired, worked part-time for our church. I’ve never forgotten the words she said in response:

“Remember those of us who have been working in ministry for a long time, also. We get tired sometimes, and we need to keep our candles lit.”

I understand her sentiment now more than I did back then. It’s been hard to keep my candle of faith burning during this time of isolation. For reasons of my own, I’ve been watching videos of church instead of attending in person. At home, I listen to Christian music, and read my Bible and devotionals. I also read Christian romance novels with their inspiring love stories.

However, none of those things can take the place of meeting loved ones face-to-face. I want to sit down and have conversations with family and friends again. I miss seeing the sparkle in their eyes and their warm smiles as we share our lives and laugh together.

I’m thankful for social media and phone calls which have helped me stay connected to family and friends. Their ongoing encouragement has helped to keep my candle’s flame lit.