Last week I had CPR training through my work.

I’m now certified.

I pray that I never have to use it, or if I do, then it will be with victorious results.

As I worked on the dummy during training memories came back to me in full force.

On August 17, 2010, my husband was on the job. He was working on a truck that had an arm on it when the operator hit the power line. He was electrocuted. He fell to the ground, and his heart stopped.

His coworkers acted quickly, bringing out an AED unit and were able to get his heart beating again.

Victory.

But because his injuries were so severe, having received internal burns, he never regained consciousness. A few days later we said goodbye to him.

Losing my husband left a gaping hole in my heart. For many months, I had dreams where we had a funeral for him and he wasn’t really dead. It’s as if my subconscious had as hard a time accepting the loss as I consciously did. I got out of bed each morning because I had kids who no longer had two parents and depended on me to meet their needs.

They say that time heals wounds.

It takes more than just time.

I had many people praying for me. I also had the support of family and good friends who prayed for me and listened to me cry. I went to grief counseling. I took an antidepressant faithfully. I found comfort in songs, both from the hymnal and contemporary Christian music.

In 2013, I passed the third anniversary of his death wishing I were a drinker. I’ve never had an alcoholic drink, but I craved it and the escape it could provide.

Instead I bought a “death by chocolate” cake and ate almost the whole thing. My blood sugar skyrocketed.

A few weeks later, I believe God answered my prayers and all those who’d been praying for me when I was introduced to a Christian counselor in my area. I started seeing her once a week.

I was stuck in grief and depression. Through her counseling and effort on my part, I gradually came out of that dark pit. At first I lived life in the shadows. After an especially hard 2020, I feel like now, in 2021, I am living in the full light of victory in my life.

I have two books published and a third underway. I have more ideas for future books than I have time to write. I have a blog that is thriving. I have a good job that challenges me and helps me be a better person.

I have three independent adult children whom I’m close to and who enjoy each other’s company.

I’m “living the dream” as a bread distributor once said every time he was asked how he was doing.

The downside is: I no longer have my best friend and rock that was my husband.

Still, I can say today that the wound from my husband’s tragic death has healed. There is a scar there. I’ll always remember him and miss his presence in my life. I’ll never be the person I was before he died.

But I’ve become independent and confident in my abilities. I have more empathy for people who are suffering. I recognize that time with our loved ones is precious.

Scars show up when a wound has healed.

May God begin healing your wounds today.

Before my novella, Angelica’s Christmas Wish, was published in 2019, I independently published a series called Legacy of Courage. The idea for the books came to me in 2003. I did indepth research into the history of our country. I chose to set the book in the southern part of Indiana in a little fictional town. The story begins in 1857, and continues on through several books.

I first sold the Courage books in a spiral bound copy that friends and family purchased. I wrote five books and published them, selling less than 50 copies of the series. Each time I wrote a book, readers asked when the next one was coming out. I did some editing over the years to the first book as I learned more about writing style and also correcting errors in research.

Then my husband passed away in 2010. I wrote a sixth book and sold it in the spiral bound print, but I didn’t sell any more copies of the first few books.

In 2012, I decided to independently publish the books in a nice paperback binding. I hired a professional designer to create covers for me. He did some amazing work for me. He also set up the text in the books.

Instead of a working with a publisher, I paid a printing company to print the books and purchased the copies from them directly. In doing so, I retained full rights to my books. The difficulty was marketing them beyond friends, family and local stores. In 2014, I put them on Amazon for Kindle. I didn’t know how to set them up properly, but I kept them up on the Amazon website for a few years.

After I received a contract with Anaiah Press for my Christmas novella, and my full-length novel, I took the Courage series down from Amazon. I had learned a lot about contemporary writing style through the editing process and felt that the Courage books needed a lot of work to make them marketable.

Earlier this year, I took another look at the series, trying to decide whether to rewrite them and find a publisher, or offer them on the market as they were. I have a following of around 300 readers. I asked a question on Facebook: Should I rewrite the books and try to find a publisher, or should I keep them the way they are and continue to self-publish? I didn’t get a lot of responses, but the answers pointed to keeping the books as is and not rewriting them.

A few weeks ago, I literally dreamed up a scene for the next book in the series. I woke up in the night, laughing as I remembered a story that a former Bible study leader told me. His wife had made some yeast rolls that turned out really hard. When they went to a friend’s house later that night, he took one of the rolls out of his pocket and knocked on the door with it.

One of my characters, Seth, the brother to the hero, has lost his way spiritually, but he has his eye on the teacher at the country school his nephew goes to. He’s known her since they were kids, but he’d never paid much attention, preferring to flirt with girls who were not as proper as she is. When she catches his interest, he has to do some convincing before she will give him a chance to court her. He likes to joke around, so I can see him acting out this scene with dinner rolls she bakes to tease her.

With fresh ideas for the series, I’vedecided that I will go forward with marketing them again as they were. I’ve had the interior of the books designed to comply with the proper Kindle format.

You will most likely find typos and other errors while reading the books. You may not agree with the historical research. I’d like to think I could make them perfect, but I don’t think that’s possible. For now, I’ve done the best I could in catching errors. I think you’ll be able to look past some of the imperfections and see that the characters and the story are as heartwarming as my traditionally published books.

The first two books in the Legacy of Courage series are available on Amazon in the Kindle version now. I’m hoping by the end of the year I can have them in print form.

Buy links for Kindle versions:

Father’s Day is coming up on Sunday, and today’s featured book, The Maritime Cure, fits the theme of this honored holiday.

Sage’s relationship with her father is strained at best. But when certain events start to unfold around her, she begins to question the vow she’s made to never speak to him again. Will experiencing the love of her Heavenly Father in her lovely surroundings help repair the relationship with her dad? 

Author’s inspiration:

“The inspiration for The Maritime Cure was my mom who bravely battled Multiple Sclerosis for nearly fifteen years.“

About the book:

Forgiveness can heal even the deepest of wounds

Nurse Practitioner Sage Patterson is accustomed to giving her time and resources to others—and she wouldn’t want it any other way. But when someone she thought she could trust puts her reputation on the line, she can’t find the strength to move past the embarrassment and hurt. To make matters worse, she must now sell her mother’s beloved beach house.  

Sage, along with her loyal rescue dog, Molly, head to picturesque Ocean Isle Beach where she finds refuge in watching the work of an unknown painter in the evenings. This tranquility is exactly what she needs to decompress… And then she meets real estate attorney Jacob Gable. He doesn’t just turn her world upside down; he steals her heart, too. But will Sage’s anger and fear of betrayal get in the way of everything Jacob has to offer? Or will they, together with God, be able to move on from past hurts to embark on a journey of forgiveness and love?  

Excerpt:

Although her surroundings reminded her of more pleasant times, she quickly pushed away any thoughts of that nature. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to forgive the man she once looked up to and admired. And she certainly would never be able to forget the embarrassment and the seemingly inescapable position he had left her in. At least her mother hadn’t witnessed the wreck he had made of their lives, that was a small consolation. With memories of her loving mother at every turn, and thoughts of her dad as well, her emotions were suddenly on a roller coaster.

“How about a walk on the beach?” she asked Molly and was rewarded by ears which perked up promptly. Sage couldn’t wait to get out by the water. The smell of the ocean and waves surging in beautiful rhythm had a unique way of calming the senses. Her appointment with the real estate attorney from Gable and Vasquez wasn’t until eleven a.m. the next morning. She would have plenty of time to start packing up the things she wanted to save and get the house in order for a buyer.

She tucked the house key into her pocket and grabbed her cell phone from her purse. She had missed yet another call from him. She erased the voicemail without listening to it.

“Come on, Molly,” she said, calling the faithful dog who trotted right away to her command. She fastened Molly’s leash, and they left the little A-frame. Sage closed the door a little harder than she meant to, causing her heart to hurt even more. Her thoughts were as heavy and as leaden as the deep ocean that stretched before them. 

About the author:

Michelle Smith Lowe lives in Asheboro, North Carolina with her husband of twenty years, Brian, and their son, Jake. She is the proud owner of a very spoiled bluetick hound dog. Michelle is a Registered Nurse as well as a Certified Multiple Sclerosis Nurse. She has always loved to write and wishes to thank God most of all for her ability to write fiction. Her hobbies include searching for Native American arrowheads on her property and cooking for her family.

Author media links:

instagram.com/authormlowe

twitter.com/Author_MLowe

facebook.com/MichelleSLoweAuthor

Buy link: