truth

Balancing Writing and Life: Tips from Allison Pearl

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

Good morning, today I’m interviewing author Allison Pearl.

Allison, thank you for being a guest on my blog.

Let’s start with you telling us a little bit about yourself.

Hi! I’m Allison Pearl, a Romantic Suspense and Cozy Mystery writer. I love writing about close-knit worlds in both small towns and big cities inspired by the many different locations in which I’ve lived. When not plotting fictional crimes, I run an online book club (https://allison-pearl.com/allisons-book-club/) and regularly release a newsletter (https://allison-pearl.com/home/newsletter-signup/) with bookish blog posts, giveaways, and reading updates.

What is your book about?

Battered & Torn centers on Nora, a woman hiding from a murderous family while working at a billionaire’s estate, and Archie, the guarded heir who can’t ignore his growing attraction or the secrets surrounding her. As their connection deepens and danger closes in, trusting each other could lead them to the truth or cost them everything, including their lives.

Do you have a day job? If so, how do you find time in your day to write?

During my non-fiction writing hours, I write executive resumes and social media content for professionals looking to transition to a new role. Finding time to write fiction is not easy, and based on my progress balancing both, I only have bad advice 😉 I’ve tried better scheduling, getting up earlier, and more, with unpredictable success. What works today often doesn’t work tomorrow. At the end of the day, I just try to write when I can.

Are you a night owl or morning person?

Definitely not a morning person, but not the most successful night owl either given how much I love an early bedtime. I have some concentration and attention issues that make consistency a challenge which means everyday seems like a new game plan. The older I get, the more I realize that the harder I try to put myself in a box or rigid schedule, the quicker I fail. Ultimately, I’ve learned to give myself permission to adapt day by day.

That’s great advice for all of us.

Are you a plotter or a panster?

Definitely a pantser. I have so much respect for writers who plan and wish I could be them when I grow up, but I just end up turning story plotting into procrastination and avoidance. The only reason my books get finished is because I sit down, start writing, and see what happens. Honestly, my plot twists shock me as much as they shock my readers.

Do you experience writer’s block? What do you do to get through it?

All the time. How I get through it changes case by case, but one strategy I always try when I’m really stuck is good old pen and paper. I close my laptop, sit down with a notebook, and just start writing something. I don’t know why it works for me, but something about writing that way always helps me find my way out of whatever maze I’ve trapped myself in.

Another great tip!

Do you reward yourself when a book is finished? If so, what is your favorite treat?

Sometimes, I reward myself for finishing a chapter 😉 Some days the words come easily, while other days you have to fight for every one of them, so rewards feel like a necessity. I’ll usually go grab a treat or a coffee, or sometimes even take a walk around the store.

What does your family think of your writing?

I think their reactions usually fall somewhere between pride and confusion. Let’s just say a snarky, sailor-mouthed woman revealing a career writing faith-based romantic suspense may have seemed a little inexplicable, but despite the confusion, my family has been incredibly supportive and the best marketing team a person could have.

Allison, it was really great chatting with you.

What’s next for you as an author?

Right now, I’m working on the start of a cozy mystery series about a Pittsburgh-based mobile bookstore owner who has a knack for continually finding herself in trouble.

And before we go, where can readers find you online?

Readers can find me online at allison-pearl.com, where I share book updates, blog posts, giveaways, and newsletter sign-ups, as well as on social media under my author name, Allison Pearl.

From the Archives: Rungs of Truth

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

It’s been a few years since I wrote this post.

I first learned these truths during counseling session #1 in October 2013. Tonight, I needed to reread this and remember these steps. I thought sharing it again might be helpful to others.

Week 1 of my Journey out of the Pit

I started going to a Christian counselor in October 2013 to help me through the grief and depression I was stuck in.

I’m certain God led me to this counselor, as she and her husband were missionaries in Saltillo, Mexico, around the same years that I studied there. Not only that, but she studied Spanish at the same language institute that I did there in Saltillo, just not at the same exact time. It was enough of a connection to believe that God brought her into my life to help me heal.

One of the first things my counselor did was share with me Psalm 40:1-2.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.

The verses describe what it feels like to live in depression and grief.

My counselor gave me the word picture that there is a pit of depression, but there are rungs to help us climb out of it.

The rungs are truths that we know. For a Christian, those truths are founded in the Word of God.

My late husband had made notes in the margins of his Bible. I had come across these words he’d written in the book of Ephesians:

God loves me.

God accepts me.

God forgives me.

These were three truths that I could count on. They were rungs that I could use to help myself climb out of the pit.

I added a truth of my own:

I am a child of God.

My counselor agreed with these truths. She also added some.

I am who I am by God’s design.
God gave life to dirt. He made us in His image. My value comes from being made in the image of God.
God sees us as His children.
He delights in us.
He loves us for who we are.
Whether we believe it or not, it’s still the truth.
As a person thinks in their heart, so they are.

These are the rungs of truth that I could use

to climb out of the pit of depression.

Before I could grasp hold of a rung, however, I first needed to catch myself thinking negative thoughts.

I had to picture a stop sign.

Once I caught myself thinking a negative thought about myself, I could stop the thought from taking root.

The the next step was to replace the negative thought with a positive truth. After a while, these truths became a part of who I was.

The process of climbing out of the pit did not happen overnight. Sometimes it was two steps forward and one step back. But I continued to go to counseling and built on that foundation.

Over time and through much prayer and determination, I can say that I am safely on the topside. Occasionally I slip towards that pit, but God has helped me to remember what I’ve learned and keep from falling back in.

Edited to Add:

I haven’t read this post for quite some time. I was amazed at how much I’ve forgotten about it. God wants me to remember that He is my heavenly Father, that He loves me and accepts me just as I am. I am His child. And so thankful to God for His faithfulness in my life.

From the Archives: Feelings are not Facts

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

Week 2 of my Journey out of the Pit

Last week I shared insights from my Christian counselor. When I was in the pit of depression, the truths that I learned were the rungs that helped me climb my way out of the pit.

I first had to recognize that what I believed about myself was not the truth about me.

In one session, my counselor was trying to print something and had to change the default printer to a different one. She said that it was similar to what takes place in my thought process.

My “default” feelings:

Blaming myself when something goes wrong

Thinking that everything bad that happens is my fault.

Feeling that I am not worth anything or a bother to someone else.

Believing that I am less ____ than anyone else

Harboring resentment

Feeling guilty for past sins or mistakes

To find healing from the depression, I needed to let go of these thoughts. I needed to learn to Stop, to Catch my Thought, and to Change the Default.

Replace the negative thoughts with the truths about who I am. (see previous posts).

Phillipians 4:8 gives us an illustration about the things we as Christians are to think about:

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Remember, our feelings affect our thoughts, and our thoughts influence our actions.

Often times I feel like people don’t like me, or I did something dumb and they now think poorly of me. My thoughts turn against me, telling me that I’m a bad person or I’m unlovable.

When I think like that, I turn inward and pull away from people who care about me or stop going to the places where the events happened.

I am my own worst enemy. But my feelings are not facts.

A few of the facts about me are:

  • I’m not dumb.
  • I am who I am because that’s how God made me
  • I’m okay the way I am.
  • I’m not like everyone else.
  • I might have made a bad choice but that does not make me a bad person.

When we catch ourselves in a negative thought, we can turn it around and replace it with a positive truth, or affirmation. We can learn to change the default thought.

No one can do this for us. We can only do this for ourselves, and by the grace of God.

I’m not suggesting that this is easy. In fact, it’s very hard to change the way we’ve thought about ourselves for so long.

We need to take this healing process one step at a time. One day at a time.

Don’t look at a week, a month, or a year.

“THIS is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

From the Archives: Rungs of Truth

/ Carol Underhill / 1 Comment

It’s been a few years since I wrote this post.

I first learned these truths during counseling session #1 in October 2013. Tonight, I needed to reread this and remember these steps. I thought sharing it again might be helpful to others.

Week 1 of my Journey out of the Pit

I started going to a Christian counselor in October 2013 to help me through the grief and depression I was stuck in.

I’m certain God led me to this counselor, as she and her husband were missionaries in Saltillo, Mexico, around the same years that I studied there. Not only that, but she studied Spanish at the same language institute that I did there in Saltillo, just not at the same exact time. It was enough of a connection to believe that God brought her into my life to help me heal.

One of the first things my counselor did was share with me Psalm 40:1-2.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.

The verses describe what it feels like to live in depression and grief.

My counselor gave me the word picture that there is a pit of depression, but there are rungs to help us climb out of it.

The rungs are truths that we know. For a Christian, those truths are founded in the Word of God.

My late husband had made notes in the margins of his Bible. I had come across these words he’d written in the book of Ephesians:

God loves me.

God accepts me.

God forgives me.

These were three truths that I could count on. They were rungs that I could use to help myself climb out of the pit.

I added a truth of my own:

I am a child of God.

My counselor agreed with these truths. She also added some.

I am who I am by God’s design.
God gave life to dirt. He made us in His image. My value comes from being made in the image of God.
God sees us as His children.
He delights in us.
He loves us for who we are.
Whether we believe it or not, it’s still the truth.
As a person thinks in their heart, so they are.

These are the rungs of truth that I could use

to climb out of the pit of depression.

Before I could grasp hold of a rung, however, I first needed to catch myself thinking negative thoughts.

I had to picture a stop sign.

Once I caught myself thinking a negative thought about myself, I could stop the thought from taking root.

The the next step was to replace the negative thought with a positive truth. After a while, these truths became a part of who I was.

The process of climbing out of the pit did not happen overnight. Sometimes it was two steps forward and one step back. But I continued to go to counseling and built on that foundation.

Over time and through much prayer and determination, I can say that I am safely on the topside. Occasionally I slip towards that pit, but God has helped me to remember what I’ve learned and keep from falling back in.

Edited to Add:

I haven’t read this post for quite some time. I was amazed at how much I’ve forgotten about it. God wants me to remember that He is my heavenly Father, that He loves me and accepts me just as I am. I am His child. And so thankful to God for His faithfulness in my life.