I spent a few hours over the weekend working in the deli where I previously worked. It was a seamless transition back into the job and with some of the same people from before.
I truly enjoyed my time there. It surprised me how much I liked hearing the other employees chatter while they work. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed being around other people who talk and laugh and share their lives.
You see, since the pandemic started, I have isolated myself in my house. I’ve gone out to work, and to meet with my sisters now and then. But I’ve only gone to church a couple of times in the last 18 months.
I know I don’t need to go to church to be successful. God has seen to it that His purposes have been fulfilled in both my personal and public life. He’s brought me out of depression and given me hope, along with the blessing of seeing my writing career take off.
Yet, since getting out the past few days in a social environment, I realize that my spiritual well is starting to run dry. I’ve heard the expression, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” My cup isn’t empty, but I do feel that it is becoming shallow.
I still do my devotions at home. I watch church services online, but not regularly. I need more than what I’ve been doing to firm up the foundation of my faith. Fellowship with other believers, worshipping in song together, and hearing the message from the pulpit, are all important elements in keeping the Holy Spirit flowing in my life.
Now I know what I need to do next in this journey of mine: to go back to church, and allow the fellowship with other believers and the live preaching of the Word to fill my spiritual well.
Since I struggle with social anxiety, it won’t be an easy road back, but I believe it will be worth it.
I sat back and read most of the weekend when what I really needed to do was write. I had my son set up my microphone/headset this morning and am going to try the dictation program again. It makes a lot of errors, but it is faster and easier to get into character when I’m talking through it instead of typing.
This morning I woke up grumpy. I wasn’t very nice to my kids. I didn’t know what was wrong with me.
Then, I did know.
GRIEF
It’s part of the grieving process to get angry, and for a short time this morning, the anger broke through the peace. I’m sure there will be more moments like that as I go through this week, feeling just a little off from what has become a peaceful and confident life.
This Monday starts a difficult week for me emotionally. Eleven years ago tomorrow, a coworker of my husband came to my door around 11 a.m. and told me Pat had been hurt and he was taking me to the hospital. He’d been electrocuted when the arm of a truck he was working on hit a power line. After a few days in the hospital, he passed away on 8/21/2010.
The rock that I had leaned on for the 20 years while we were married was gone, and I had to learn to live life, and raise my kids, on my own.
Yet I was never really alone. I had the amazing support of family and friends. Even people I didn’t know very well were praying for me. There were some rough patches, but through it all, God brought healing from the grief.
Still, even though the feeling of loss is most often not present, this week brings it all back.
This morning I take the time to honor a wonderful man.
I think I fell in love with him at first sight but managed to hide it for a few months (there’s a story there). When we did start dating, it didn’t take me long to realize he was the one. I bought a bassinet at a garage sale and started looking at wedding dresses.
We started dating in May, and by August we started talking about a winter wedding. He proposed the night before Thanksgiving, and I returned to work with an exquisite diamond on my hand and a permanent smile on my face.
We weren’t sure when to have the wedding. My grandma said February was a good month to get married because there was nothing going on in February. We planned a wedding around Valentine’s Day. I had stars in my eyes and my head in the clouds for those weeks leading up to the wedding. We decided to wait until our wedding night to become intimate, due to our faith and traditional values.
The night of rehearsal, we had a blizzard. The next day, our wedding day, was sunny and bright. We took a short honeymoon and I moved into his trailer, and we made a home.
It was a good life. Not perfect, but we loved each other. After we had our kids, there were some hectic years, but we still kept the romance alive.
When the accident happened, we were in a good place in our marriage. On Sunday mornings we enjoyed a cup of coffee together and attended a new church, where we’d decided to settle after years of searching.
Our sons were in football, our daughter was in marching band, and we were both working. Things weren’t perfect at our jobs, but we were getting through life the best we could.
When Pat passed away, he left life insurance. He was hurt at work, so there was compensation from that. We were pretty well set financially. I paid off the house and got some major work done while I had the life insurance money.
When it ran out, and my son aged out of the Social Security Survivor’s Benefit, I struggled financially. I had previously been unable to work, diagnosed with some mental health issues. I tried for disability but was denied every time. I got a job working as a caregiver to my cousin, but when she passed away, I had to start over again.
By God’s grace, a job opened up for me as a housekeeping aide for the Commission on Aging. I like what I do. I have met some amazing seniors with great stories.
The pay isn’t enough to meet my needs, however. This week I will return to the deli where I was working when my husband passed away, making salads and sandwiches and taking care of stock, for 6-10 hours per week. It’s four miles from home. The extra income will tip the scales to allow me to pay for big expenses that come up as well as save some money for the future.
With two books published and a contract for a third, I am living my dream of being an author. I have several future books in progress. And I haven’t forgotten about the Courage series, which was so popular when I was self-published.
As I take this moment and reflect back on what I lost, a good husband and my faithful partner in life, I also acknowledge what God has blessed me with:
Good friends, a supportive family, and a job that brings me peace of mind. I’m healthy and have a great future ahead of me. God will be with me every step of the way, and I praise Him for the work he has done, and will continue to do, in my life.
When my sister was struggling with her faith, I had the idea of an artist who came to know Jesus through the process of painting a mural. From that seed, and from other conversations with friends, Madeleine and her story were born. I’m very thankful to say that my sister is a strong Christian now, thanks to the grace of God and not at all because of this book or anything I did.
About the book:
The last place Madeleine Mullins wants to be is back in Shady Springs, Arkansas–the town where her whole world fell apart. But when her beloved Aunt Clara begs her for help, Madeleine reluctantly takes a job painting a mural at her aunt’s church. Her plan is to finish quickly and leave her bad memories behind. But the more time she spends with the handsome youth minister and the more she reads her Bible, the more she wonders if she’s been wrong about God and the Church all along.
Excerpt:
Slam!
Madeleine jumped and fumbled to catch her pencil and notebook. Was the sound just a church member slamming the front door? Maybe Sam had come to meet her here instead of the restaurant. Or was it someone more nefarious?
“Hello?” Madeleine called out timidly.
Silence. Perhaps she could yell a little louder.
“Hello! Who’s there?”
Silence again. Maybe she’d imagined the noise, and no one was there after all.
Thump.
Nope, definitely someone there. She would have to investigate.
Madeleine opened the nearest door to find something to use as protection, just in case. The room appeared to be a children’s classroom, and they must have been studying the Armor of God because Madeleine found a long, wooden sword labeled “Spirit” at the front of the room.
Brandishing the weapon in one hand and her phone in the other, Madeleine reentered the hallway.
Thud.
She followed the source of the noises until she was fairly certain she was around the corner from the intruder. Madeleine took a deep breath and jumped into the hallway, crashing into a tall man and accidentally whacking him with the sword in the process, landing on her rear end.
She scrambled backward. Looked up. Felt completely ridiculous because the auburn-haired guy—young, handsome guy—was wearing earbuds and carrying a phone. And nothing about him suggested malintent. In fact, a bright yellow bucket spinning down the hallway suggested he was actually here to mop the floors.
“I’m so sorry!”
“Who are you?” His voice was shocked but not harsh.
Madeleine’s cheeks burned. “Madeleine. I’m so sorry! I called out, but no one answered, so I thought—but of course you were wearing headphones, or you would have heard me—and obviously you work here, since, you know, you have a mop—” Shut up! Stop talking! She clamped her mouth closed to prevent any more words from leaking out.
The young man stared at her, dumbfounded, and for a moment Madeleine wished she could sink into the floor. Turn into a puddle he could mop up.
But then he smiled. And it was the most handsome grin she had ever seen. Her stomach filled with butterflies as he burst into laughter.
“Is that a sword from the props bin?”
“Yeah, I…” Madeleine’s embarrassment fizzled away as relief that the young man wasn’t an angry intruder—and wasn’t upset with her—washed over her.
“I’m A.J.”
About the author:
Sarah Anne Crouch grew up in a small town much like Shady Springs. She cherishes the close relationships and beautiful memories from her hometown. Though she’s lived everywhere from Malibu, CA to Nashville, TN, Sarah now resides in Arkansas with her husband, three children, and thousands of books.
Today my guest is Sarah Anne Crouch, author of the new release, A Summer in Shady Springs. Sarah, it’s great to have you here with me today. Let’s start by telling us a little bit about yourself.
I live in Central Arkansas with my husband and three children (ages 2,4, and 6). My favorite job is being their Mommy, but I’ve also worked as a teacher and have a graduate degree in Library and Information Science. I’ve wanted to be an author ever since I was young and am so happy to be living out that dream!
When I’m not writing or wrangling kids, I love to play piano and watch movies with my husband. We’re big film nerds and have seen every Oscar Best Picture Winner. I also enjoy cooking, but I always try to get someone else to do the dishes.
What is your book about?
The last place Madeleine Mullins wants to be is back in Shady Springs, Arkansas–the town where her whole world fell apart. But when her beloved Aunt Clara begs her for help, Madeleine reluctantly takes a job painting a mural at her aunt’s church. Her plan is to finish quickly and leave her bad memories behind. But the more time she spends with the handsome youth minister and the more she reads her Bible, the more she wonders if she’s been wrong about God and the Church all along.
Do you have a day job? If so, how do you find time in your day to write?
I have three small children, and they are my day and night job. My best time for writing is nap time. I always try to start with my Bible study, then a few minutes of housecleaning, then I settle in to write as long as I’m able. Sometimes I get a couple hours, sometimes I get nothing, but if I keep at it every day, I can eventually finish a manuscript.
Do you reward yourself when a book is finished? If so, what is your favorite treat?
Yes! I love chocolate, so if any particularly large bars of chocolate enter our house, I usually commandeer them as a writing incentive.
How did you come up with the names of your hero and/or heroine?
I named my heroine after my favorite author, Madeleine L’Engle. I’m actually not great at coming up with names for people, places, or books. So, I look around me for inspiration. My characters in this novel come from favorite authors, theologians, and historical figures. Sometimes I’ll mine yearbooks or newspapers for new character names. Having said that, I have no idea where A.J.’s name came from. That one was just floating around in my brain.
Are you a plotter or a pantser?
I’m a big plotter! I actually find outlining a book to be more freeing. I’ll set myself up with the primary goals and conflicts of the story, then each scene is framed around those essential elements. Plotting keeps me from wasting my time or being paralyzed by indecision, but I still let myself change my mind as I go along if breaking away from what I’ve planned feels right at the time.
Are you part of a writing group?
Yes, and they are the best! Amy R. Anguish (a fellow Anaiah author) and Rachel Herod have helped me out immensely on my writing journey. They spur me on and give me ideas and help me hone my craft.
Who was the first person you allowed to read your completed book?
My mom was the perfect first reader because she was so encouraging. A Summer in Shady Springs is my debut novel, so neither of us knew if I was any good yet. Her actual words were “I think this could be a real book.” And now it is!
Do you experience writer’s block? What do you do to get through it?
I think I get editor’s block more often than writer’s block. When I get notes back from a beta reader or my editor, sometimes it takes me a long time to figure out how to answer their question or fix the problem they found. Usually if I get my hands busy with something like vacuuming or cooking, while I let my mind mull over the issue, I can figure it out eventually. If not, I can always reach out to my writing group or talk it over with my husband.
What’s next for you as an author?
I’m very excited to say I will get to be a part of a novella collection coming out September 2022 with Amy Anguish, Heather Greer, and Regina Merrick. The title is Love in Any Season, and my story is called “A Sweet Dream Come True.” It’s a delicious romance about an ice cream man and a chocolatier. Each story focuses on a Main Street business and seasonal festival, and it’s going to be super cute!
Author Media Links:
My website is SarahAnneCrouch.wordpress.com.
You can find me on Facebook.com/SarahAnneCrouch, Twitter.com/SarahAnneCrouch, and Pinterest.com/SarahAnneCrouch.
My book, The Reluctant Billionaire, is one of the promoted books for the challenge. Today I’m taking over the Facebook page and hosting some games and giveaways. I hope you can stop by, join the group, and follow along.
And follow the instructions to enter the Summer Reading Challenge where you’ll have a chance to become eligible for more prizes.
Inspirational Author 