Life’s Journey

God is on the Move Today

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

Anytime I fight against the darkness in my life, God moves in with the light.

It was no different this week.

On Thursday night I struggled with sliding towards the pit of depression.

By the Grace of God, He reminded me to Feed the Light that is in me through salvation.

Through praise and worship, that lightness overtook the darkness and I was again set free from falling into the pit.

God is good.
All the time.
Even when our circumstances are not.

Plans for future lessons for children’s church have been rattling around in my brain the past couple of days. More so since I woke up at 3:00 a.m. which is the time I usually like to get up. I go to bed early at night so I can rise early and start my day while the world is silent.

A couple of cups of coffee, some social media until I wake up enough to work on my writing or children’s curriculum.

The Passport to the Promised Land curriculum that I created and others assisted with turned out successfully. We’re learning to work with flannelgraphs. If you’re not familiar with them, they are felt pieces of characters and items in the Bible that are presented on a large board as a story is told

We’ve also used videos, games and crafts to present unique lessons. We’ve stamped our passports and traveled through the Old Testament with Abraham, Joseph and Moses. We’ll cross the Jordan River in another week and then celebrate along with the Israelites who returned to the land God promised Abraham. We’ll learn that God keeps His promises. He promised to never leave or forsake us. He always keeps His Word.

Now that the holidays are nearly upon us, the focus of our children’s church lessons will be on the events surrounding birth of Jesus and how He brought hope and joy and love into our hearts.

Since those lessons are outlined already, I’m looking ahead to what the Year 2023 will bring.

Our church has saved Vacation Bible School curriculum for many years. I’m coming up with the lesson plans and creating my own curriculum, well, me and the Lord that is. And I brought home the director’s manuals for most of the previous VBS programs.

Last night I started searching through them. Today I did some more indepth searching and also looking up the stories that correspond with the lessons from our Betty Lukens Bible story book that came with the awesome set of flannelgraphs our church ordered last spring. We’ve used the flannelgraphs, which are bright and colorful, along with the stories in several of our lessons, successfully.

Last winter and spring, I taught the Bible in chronological sequence beginning with Jesus growing up as a boy and getting lost at the temple. Well, He wasn’t lost. He knew exactly where He was, in His Father’s House. His parents lost track of Him.

After that story we followed Jesus’ teaching and miracles, his death and resurrection and ascension (Return to heaven). Then we continued with Pentecost and the Acts of the disciples in May.

For 2023, I intend to do something similar but with all new stories and lessons. We’ll have the opportunity to put the flannelgraphs to good use..

I spent time last night and this morning organizing most of the lessons into an outline with specific dates and stories we’ll be learning. I’ve marked pages of the VBS directors’ manuals to search more thoroughly and gather ideas from.

I see some exciting things in our future!

God is on the Move!

I’m excited about the possibilities for the future, both for my local church and one day when I publish these lesson plans and make them available to other churches.

Sometimes we have only one child. Usually three or four. A couple of times we’ve had 9 children, and that is exciting when that happens. But we still do the lesson and work the program as much as possible for one or two children as we do eight or nine. Or 12, or 20.

Each child deserves our best effort and the full impact of the lessons.

You see, I grew up in a little country church. We didn’t even have indoor plumbing. The congregation faded away, until it was just our family and a couple of other people before the church closed.

Yet we always had Sunday School. We sang choruses in the opening and had class time. Our teachers prepared the lessons for us even though we were the only ones in the class.

The foundation of my faith began in that little church with those dedicated teachers.

I hope that the lessons we teach will be the foundation on which our children in my local church will build their faith, also.

God is on the Move!

The link to a song by this title is below. The lyrics are very meaningful to me. As evidenced in my own life in the past two days, God moves when we surrender to Him and move from the darkness into the light.

The Testing of my Faith

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

I don’t know if my faith has ever been tested as much as it has been in the last three months. After I lost my husband in 2010 I spent many years in grief, then a lingering depression. Yet in all those times I never doubted that God was with me and had a plan for my life.

As recently as July of this year, I felt that God had brought me out of the dark times in my life and I was now living in the light of His blessings. Things were going amazingly well.

Then in August, my tower of faith began to tumble, one brick at a time. I’ve shared much of the struggles over the past few months in previous blog posts, so I won’t get into the details here.

I think my faith was tested in every way possible.

Well, I thought it had been every way possible.

Now as I face a health challenge and uncertainty about the results, I find that my faith is wavering.

The “What-Ifs” are building up this health problem into the worst case scenarios even as I try to tell myself it’s probably nothing and will easily be resolved. It’s human nature to worry, to want to control the outcome anything we come up against.

Then as our plans start to crumble, we realize how little control we have over some areas of our life.

God is faithful.

He is a good God.

He has a plan for my future.

He is my Provider.

He is my Healer.

I believe these promises for a fact.

Yet I know that everything doesn’t go according to “MY” plan.

I can’t see beyond today to know what “HIS” plan is for me. But I can trust in His unfailing love.

Good Monday Morning 10-24-22

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

Good Monday Morning 10-24-22

22 years ago today, my youngest son was born at 4:00 in the afternoon. After having labor induced and receiving an epidural to manage the pain, labor was dragging on until it was getting dangerous for the baby.

By that time the epidural had worn off and I felt the pain as I pushed a third child into the world without the benefit of medication to dull the pain.

The first child was born on the day he was supposed to have been induced. I woke up in labor. I couldn’t figure out how to breathe during the Lamaze classes and anything I did learn was forgotten when the labor pain became intense. When the nurse told me it was too late for pain medication and my doctor would be very upset if they gave me something at that point, I panicked. Needless to say, a short time later I screamed as my firstborn came into the world.

With my second, eighteen months to the day after the first, I woke up in labor and sat up most of the night by myself. The pain wasn’t bad. But by the time I woke my husband up and we made it to the hospital, I knew I was in trouble. I asked for pain medication, as the contractions were getting intense by that point, but my baby was already crowning. The doctor broke my water, and my daughter was born twenty minutes later.

I said to my husband, “Let’s not do this again for at least five years.”

Six years later, I found out I was pregnant but the fetus never developed and it wasn’t a viable pregnancy. I miscarried a few weeks after I took the test.

A few months later, when my cycle was regular again, my husband and I talked about it. We knew we needed to take precautions if we didn’t want another child. Instead, we decided to “see what happens.” Both of us had always said we wanted three or four children (my husband would always add, “or half a dozen.”)

It was no surprise when I became pregnant a few months later.

As mentioned above, by the time he was born, I was in pain and exhausted.

My son was born on October 24, 2000.

I loved being pregnant, and I loved my babies. But I knew I couldn’t go through another labor and delivery.

Besides, I was 35 years old. We considered our family complete and took permanent steps to make it so.

I’m blessed to be the mom of three adult children. Since 2010 I’ve been a single parent. Their dad would be proud of them for the wonderful people they are today. They are supportive of me and also protective. They are worth every moment of pain that I bore to bring them into this world.

Happy birthday, son.

And may God’s blessings be upon you, your sister and brother from this day forward.

Good Monday Morning: Sept. 26

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

This is the last Monday in September. This month went by so fast.

Summer is over and fall is here. That turning of the season was a difficult time for me when my kids were in school. It was as hard for me to shift from lazy summer mornings to bustling everyone out the door in time to catch the bus or drive to school. In fact, many years during this change of season, I suffered from increased anxiety.

It feels like I still experience the aftershock of those hectic days when this time of year rolls around. My mood shifted a few days ago. A little bit of depression is creeping in, stealing my motivation and my joy. That affects my mindset and my thoughts turn inward. I self-reflect and pick out the negatives instead of focusing on the positive.

It’s time for another appointment with my counselor. I can get through this, but I need a little help to sort through my emotions.

Three years ago I was on top of my game. I was in great health and my first novella was about to be released.

Two years ago, I had good lab results and felt physically stronger than I ever had, but I struggled to find a job. Finances became a hardship. I learned how to cook dry beans and make up my own soups, as well as portion out the meat that I ate so that it stretched farther.

Last year, I’d already started to let down my guard, not paying attention to what I ate and not exercising regularly. I had some disappointments that I couldn’t seem to get over.

In November last year, I began working with children’s church. Like I often do, I came up with my own ideas for curriculum. For the next few months, I focused on preparing lessons weekly with Bible stories, games and crafts. It didn’t matter to me that we only had 1-3 kids most Sundays. It was a lot of fun for me to get back into the area of children’s ministry that I enjoyed when my kids were little.

I decided that last year, in 2021, I chased after things that weren’t important. I decided that in 2022, I would focus on what God had planned for me.

I spend a lot of time working on curriculum to use in our local church and in preparation for future publishing.

Although I have several ideas for Christian fiction, I haven’t written anything this year. I keep thinking I want to get something going, but I don’t have the drive.

I can’t tell if it’s because the church curriculum consumes all of my creative energy or if it’s wrter’s block that’s lasted for several months.

Maybe a little bit of both?

As any of you who follow my blog can tell, I’ve been lax this summer in writing new posts. One thing I have continued is the Pet Tails Series. I’ve requested photos and stories of pets who are available for adoption from our local animal rescue coalition. The last one named Hash brown almost tempted me to seek adoption.

My “baby,” my Black Lab named Rosie, turns thirteen next month and is slowing down. I think she may have a tumor and plan to call the vet this week and get her an appointment. I don’t really want another dog to replace her, but after my husband died, she was the only reason I went outside the house. She’s been a good companion in spite of her stubbornness and occasional digging into the trash. I don’t know when but we will be saying goodbye to her sooner rather than later.

I don’t think I will get another dog, however. We have several cats. Adding a puppy or even an older dog to the household will be more work for me. I’d like to do some traveling in a couple of years and I don’t want the responsibility of a dog that I’d have to ask someone else to take care of while I’m gone.

Then there is the expense: Vet visits, spaying or neutering, shots, as well as food. My kids have been paying for all of that over this past year as I have struggled financially. I can’t afford another dog until my finances get sqared away. I’m working on budgeting but there isn’t much left over after bills to budget.

I have to believe that will all change one day, hopefully sooner rather than later. I made some poor decisions in the past that have put me in this situation. I am unable to work full time due to mental health issues. But I’ve missed a lot of part time hours this summer due to illness or said issues.

The Passport Journey curriculum has gone amazingly well and is still a fun project for me. I’m also working on a series called Hall of Faith, based on Hebrews 11 and am making trading cards to go along with the stories. I’m also working on New Testament stories that we can begin in January if God directs us to.

So there are some positive things in my life, I just have to look a little harder for them right now. I’m also making the commitment to eating healthier and exercising more often, but we all know how hard it is to stick with those good habits.

I hope you all have a good week and I’ll see you back here soon!

Oh, and I’ve lined up some author interviews and book features for the next few months so I can introduce you to some great Christian fiction.

From the Archives: You Prepare a Table Before Me

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life…”

Psalm 23:5-6a

Today marks the end of a pretty good week. Drama free, no missed work or car problems. It was payday yesterday so that makes it even better. I was able to catch up on a couple of bills and buy a few essentials.

The above verses from Psalm 23 follow verse 4: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

You’ve probably heard me say that losing someone you love so much is like going through the Valley of the Shadow of Grief. Their death, not yours, but it affects every aspect of your life. There is no part of your day that your loss doesn’t touch, at least in the beginning.

I feel like I came through the shadows and into the light of God’s grace. I’ve shared most of my journey on this blog in previous posts.

The shadows linger over my head at times, like during the past month when the struggles of life bombarded me and were almost more than I could take.

Almost.

There is no question that the love and support of my family and friends brought me through.

I specifically asked for prayer last week when I was faced with a staff training day which meant sitting in a room with 30 other people. I didn’t find the chair comfortable, I was in the middle of the room, not the back or off by myself, which meant I felt claustrophobic, and IBS kicked in. But the seminar was on dealing with anxiety and stress, and by the time it was over my anxiety symptoms had faded.

One of the other homemaker aides took me under her wing that day, knowing I had problems with anxiety. She gave me the end seat at lunch, becoming the buffer between other employees and myself.

The company paid for lunch, then we bowled afterwards. My new friend invited me to be on her team, along with two other women from our department.

I had fun.
I was suprised at that.

I haven’t bowled for 20 years and I had a horrible score.

But I laughed a lot. I enjoyed myself in the company of my new friends.

I have not socialized aside from family and church for a long time, so it was a good experience for me. Sure, I had some socially awkward moments, but for the most part I felt good about the day’s events.

God prepared that table before me, in the restaurant and at the bowling alley. The employer is not my enemy and the other workers aren’t enemies, either.

No, the enemies that surrounded me that day were fear, anxiety and insecurity.

God anointed that time and place. He saw ahead and paved the way through my new friend, a table that had an open spot on the end, and a group that I was comfortable bowling with.

Although we had time to play three games and two of my teammates did so, I stopped after one. I don’t have great balance and I feared I would take a fall. It wasn’t so much fear as caution.

Even after I quit bowling, I spent time socializing and stretching outside the box.

For that afternoon, I forgot all about my troubles.

My cup of joy and laughter overflowed.

I had asked for prayer to get through the day, and I know many of my friends and family responded. I could feel the difference.