Author: Carol Underhill

Meet the Author: Christina Sinisi

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

My guest today is author Christina Sinisi. She is here to tell us about the recently released third book in her Summer Creek series, Why They Call It Falling.

Christina, let’s start with telling us a little bit about yourself.

Thank you, Carol, for having me as a guest on your blog!

Why They Call It Falling is my fourth published book and I’m very proud of this one because, more than any of my other books, the story weds my two selves—psychologists and romance writer. I am a psychology professor and department chair in my day job.

My husband and I will be married thirty-six years as of August. We have two grown children and a crazy cat, Chessie Mae.

I have several cats myself, so I understand a crazy one.

I absolutely love this cover photo. What is Why They Call It Falling about?

Formerly the wild child of three sisters, Emma Marano grew up to be a single mom working two jobs, estranged from her mother, and lying to her friends. She’d told everyone that her daughter’s father wanted nothing to do with his child, but her own inability to deal with her mistakes and shame led to the biggest lie of her life.

Years later, Justin Lee stumbles upon what turns out to be a daughter he never knew he had. Angry and confused, he insists on having a relationship with his daughter, but to do so, he’ll need to rebuild some sort of relationship with Emma, too. As he gets to know his daughter—and Emma again—he soon realizes that his biggest mistake was leaving her all those years ago. Now, Justin has to decide if he can see past her flaws and forgive her lies, and together, they’ll have to work to reclaim their love and a faith in each other and in God, or they risk losing something precious in the process.

What is the inspiration behind your story?

Why They Call It Falling is the third book in the Summer Creek series, or it can be read as a stand-alone. The inspiration came from the first book—Emma did some pretty hard-to-understand things and I needed to understand why she did them. Everything went from there—why did she seemingly abandon a daughter she loved, why was her daughter’s father not part of the story, and how did she end up with him at the end of the first book? Hmmm…

You lead a very busy life. How do you find time in your day to write?

I am a psychology professor and department chair. The honest answer is, sometimes I don’t have time to write. Then, I forgive myself and know that I will get back to it when I can. In the summer, and on breaks, I write as much as I can. My advice to anyone is to be patient with yourself.

Are you a night owl or morning person?

I almost didn’t answer this one, but maybe I should. I have actually heard some people say that they thought all creative people stay up late at night. I don’t. I’m one of those regimented people—I need to be up in the morning to exercise and get to work so I calculate eight hours back to make sure I get the right amount of sleep. Then, I write when I can. If I need to write in the evening because that’s all I’ve got, I do. In the summers, writing becomes my job (once I get these darned annual reports done for the university). I get up in the morning, eat breakfast, shower, and then write as if it was my paying job. At best, I set word count goals. My best ever was 25 pages in a day, but my more typical is around 5 – 10 when I get going.

Do you reward yourself when a book is finished? If so, what is your favorite treat?

I love to lounge in a comfy chair on my screen porch with a fruity drink and a good book, get in the pool, read some more, repeat. 😊

Who was your favorite character to create?

My favorite characters are the children. I’m a child psychologist, volunteer in the nursery, just love the little ones. And in fiction, they can offer a welcome break from the heavy stuff the adults are going through.

I love to read books with children in them. They are precious, aren’t they?

How did you come up with the names of your hero and/or heroine?

I have a habit of choosing names from people I know, as a way of honoring them. The problem comes in when the original thinks the character in the story is supposed to be them. No, the characters are themselves, unique and different.

Are you a plotter or a panster?

I am a plotter and use story boards, but then sometimes the story takes over. I’ll refer back to the story boards every once in awhile but I am not a slave to it. I’m thrilled to be teaching a class for ACFW At Home Conference on storyboarding with faith. Hope some of your readers can watch the video!

Christina, thank you for being my guest today and sharing part of your life with us. What’s next for you as an author?

I have one book (a follow-up to Christmas on Ocracoke) under consideration, another book I need to edit, and I’ve started a third.

Where can readers find you online?

Website/Blog: https://www.christinasinisi.com/ 

Social Networking Sites:

Twitter: @ChristinaSinisi

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Christina-Sinisi-Author-105861987440664/?modal=admin_todo_tour

Instagram: @csinisi123

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/csinisi/

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/101218889-christina-sinisi

Bookbub:  https://www.bookbub.com/profile/christina-sinisi

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/They-Call-Falling-Christina-Sinisi-ebook/dp/B0B1GF6FBC/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=Christina+Sinisi&qid=1654020461&s=books&sr=1-2

From the Archive: Tools to Change

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

Week 3 of my Journey out of the Pit

I’ve shared in previous posts that 1) the rungs to help us climb out of the pit are the truths about ourselves; and 2) our feelings are not facts.

After the first two sessions, I was still integrating the new thought patterns into my life. One night, I was feeling down and negative about myself. I was in physical pain.

I looked back at my counseling notes and remembered:

One day at a time…THIS is the day that the Lord has made…

I remembered a pastor’s message to “make a joyful noise.”

I started to sing (I don’t remember what song). After a few wobbly notes, I was singing praise songs.

I spent time in my room, with Itunes playing on my laptop, and relaxed for half an hour. Physical pain subsided as I quieted my thoughts.

The next time I met with my counselor, she reminded me of these Bible verses:

James 4:7-8

7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8(a) Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.

She encouraged me to resist the negative thoughts that had dragged me into depression and to turn and embrace God, who is powerful.

When we say, “Help me,” His Spirit comes in and rescues us.

The journey out of depression is like taking baby steps.

My counselor gave me some tools to help me in my battle with depression:

Get out in the sunlight.

Do something to move. Get my body in motion.

Deep breathing

Muscle relaxing

Picturing a quiet place (which for me was our friend’s cabin on the river)

Thinking of a hymn or song

Remembering helpful Scripture verses

Change is uncomfortable, but without it, we can’t grow. Change isn’t going to happen by accident, but by applying the tools I’ve learned and working on myself.

I thought of myself as damaged goods, but Jesus paid the price for my sins because to God I am worthwhile.

I have value in God’s eyes.

Therefore, I need to take care of myself.

Happy Independence Day!

/ Carol Underhill / Leave a comment

I thought I was independent as a young adult when I went off to college, then traveled to Mexico. I THOUGHT I was independent when in 1988 I went back to Mexico and stayed for six months teaching.

The situation where I lived wasn’t working out. I’d been independent here in the U.S., but there I didn’t know how to cook or clean or anything to their standards. The meals I tried to cook weren’t well received so I gave up. I ate most of my meals out even if it was just a yogurt and fresh fruit.

One day I had terrible stomach cramps and the woman I was living with took me to see the doctor. Later that day, I rode the bus to school as usual. I met up with some friends who invited me to their house.

Later that evening, they took me back to the place where I was staying. One of the sisters said, “She is going to scold you.” (Meaning my housemate.)

Well, she certainly did. After I said goodbye to the sisters and walked into the house, my housemate let me have it. For over an hour I sat at the table and listened to her tell me that she had called hospitals and everyone she knew to see where I had been. It was in the days before cell phones. I didn’t even have her phone number if I’d wanted to call and tell her I’d be late. Along with that, she blasted me. “You depend too much on your mommy.”

Me? Dependent on my mom?

I was offended at that. After all, I’d been out of school 5 years and had lived on my own most of that time. I’d been financially independent for most of that time period also.

But looking at it from her standpoint, I was lazy and didn’t do my share.

That was the beginning of the end for me. I began to get homesick and desperate to make it through the next few weeks until the classes I was teaching were finished. I didn’t try to fit in anymore.

I came home and started a new job, found a new place to live, bought a car. I met my husband and we got married nine months later. I was still independent, up until we had our first child. Then I became a stay-at-home mom.

As a mom with young children and with a husband who worked long hours, I did become dependent on my mom. She helped out with the kids, went with me on errands, and was always just a phone call away. Even when she was going through her illness I could still call and she would listen to my complaints.

She was very helpful during the time that I had my nervous breakdown when I was hospitalized, and after I returned home. She ended up getting sick and passing away a couple of years later.

It was about that time when my dependence shifted to my husband. I could no longer attend social functions without his presence there to buffer me and shield me from nervousness. He carried the financial burden of my doctor appointments and medicine without complaint. As I gradually got better, I became more independent. I even got a job and contributed to the household finances.

But I still relied on him to support me when we went places. I didn’t like to go without him. So when I lost him in August 2010, it took a long time before I could get back to my independence.

As I’ve shared in previous blog posts, through counseling, medication and emotional support, I’ve managed to come through the Valley of the Shadow of Grief and come out the other side, stronger than before. I have arrived at a secure place in my life. Lately I’ve become involved in church and attended social functions without that anxiety eating me up inside.

I’d like to say I’m independent, but financially I rely on my adult children who live with me as they share in paying utilities and pay for everything for our rescued cats, including food, litter and vet care. That could change in the future, and I am working toward the goal of becoming financially solid by the time I’m 60. (Not too many years away, unfortunately).

Although I have put the past behind me, I will always remember the words of my housemate in Mexico when she said, “You depend too much on your mommy.” It keeps me humble to realize that I wasn’t all that I thought I was.

Climbing Out of Depression: Key Steps to Healing

/ Carol Underhill / 1 Comment

I published this post a few years ago. Every now and then I read back over it to remind myself of the steps I took to get out of the pit of depression. God’s eternal truths never change. And by clinging to those truths, we can rise above thoughts that lead us into depression.

I started going to a Christian counselor in October 2013 to help me through the depression I was stuck in.

I’m certain God led me to this counselor, as she and her husband were missionaries in Saltillo, Mexico, in the same year that I studied there. Not only that, but she studied Spanish at the same language institute that I did there in Saltillo, just not at the same exact time. It was enough of a connection to believe that God brought her into my life to help me heal.

One of the first things my counselor did was share with me Psalm 40:1-2.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.

The verses describe what it feels like to live in depression and grief.

My counselor gave me the word picture that there is a pit of depression, but there are rungs to help us climb out of it.

The rungs are truths that we know. For a Christian, those truths are founded in the Word of God.

My late husband had made notes in the margins of his Bible. Icame across these words he’d written in the book of Ephesians:

God loves me.

God accepts me.

God forgives me.

These were three truths that I could count on. They were rungs that I could use to help myself climb out of the pit.

I added a truth of my own:

I am a child of God.

My counselor agreed with these truths. She also added some.

I am who I am by God’s design.

God gave life to dirt. He made us in His image. My value comes from being made in the image of God.

God sees us as His children.

He delights in us.

He loves us for who we are.

Whether we believe it or not, it’s still the truth.

As a person thinks in their heart, so they are.

Those are the rungs of truth that I could use to climb out of the pit of depression.

Before I could grasp hold of a rung, however, I first needed to catch myself thinking negative thoughts.

I had to picture a stop sign.

Once I caught myself thinking a negative thought about myself, I could stop the thought from taking root.

The the next step was to replace the negative thought with a positive rung of truth. After a while, these truths became a part of who I was.

The process of climbing out of the pit did not happen overnight. Sometimes it was two steps forward and three steps back. But I continued to go to counseling and built on that foundation.

Over time and through much prayer and determination, I can say that I am safely out of that pit most of the time. When I start to slip, I try to remember what I’ve learned and keep from falling back in.

God wants me to remember that He is my heavenly Father, that He loves me and accepts me just as I am. I am His child. And I’m so thankful to God for His faithfulness in my life.